then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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