i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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