official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize