I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize