Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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