i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
