god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
