but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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