Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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