So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
