She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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