Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Randomize
