Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
