if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
