The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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