I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
