I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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