In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
