is wine microwaveable?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
