I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
