i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
