my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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