hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
