dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
