YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
