theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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