Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize