i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
