Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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