I have demons in me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
