Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
