Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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