i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
