If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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