just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
