he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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