This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
