I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
