We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
