Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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