why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
