Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
