The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize