"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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