I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I wear drunk well.
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