Define "chronic" masturbator.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
