uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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