I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
