Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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