Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize