TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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