I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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