i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
